You can’t create and enjoy life’s sweetest moments without first loving yourself. It’s an absolute requirement to get the most out of life. There is no debate.
So what does it mean to love oneself? Well, I say its acceptance and proud appreciation of all you are. But there is no universal definition. I also like to believe it’s finding a place of peace and comfort about what you stand for – your likes, dislikes, morals, values, etc. Maybe it’s having purpose to some? Maybe it’s constant kindness to others? My point here is that only you know what it is for you and ONLY YOU are responsible for finding and embracing it.
And, by no means, do you find it and your job is done. It’s actually quite the opposite! Evolving as a person is the most beautiful gift you are given in this lifetime. We will forever be works in progress, which also means we can always achieve new goals. There is always the opportunity to do more. To be more. To change more. To discover happiness in ways you never imagined. But, yes my friends, it requires “work.”
Now, I could ramble on for days about all the things we need to do to help truly love who we are. But, for today, I want to focus on the love and acceptance of our physical self and how that is a foundational part of our confidence and dreams. And I will talk about it in the context of how it has helped me find success and happiness in my life, especially as a single parent.
The reality is most of us struggle to feel body positive although we hardly ever talk about it. We don’t want to volunteer this as conversation because it requires us to be vulnerable and that is hard and scary. In the same sense, we also sweat the thought of confronting the topic with someone we care about who could probably benefit from our love and support in their physical struggles. It’s almost as if it’s taboo. Terrible!
So let us talk about it! I’m no different. I’m just like you. I’m not an expert in this. I’m not trying to sell you anything. Let me just open up as a man who has struggled with confidence in his appearance. Then add some color for how that has manifested in my time as a single parent. I will tell you about my challenges and what I have done to build love for myself.
Before we continue, I need to make an important distinction. Self-love is important because we utilize it as a guide to our happiness. Loving our body is such a big part of that. But it’s not as much about thinking you “look” good as it is about feeling good. You may know this already, but you will find that making healthy lifestyle choices in terms of taking care of your body, has so many beneficial effects on your mental and emotional dignity. And, that is where it counts!
I’ll just say it. My weight is all over the place! So is my fitness. My diet too. But regardless of whatever my current status is, I always know where the right place is to be. I know you do too, unless you haven’t been there – but at least you know the right direction. Simply put, I have felt the positive effects of less body fat and a stronger core. When I am eating right and in “better shape,” I have less aches and a lot more energy. I’m simply more productive in life, whether that be more motivation to step up my performance in my career or engage more proactively with my daughter.
But even as I write this, I am conscious of my love handles pressing on the sides of my shirt. Do I have “man boobs” I’ve thought to myself at times. I stared at a blemish on my face for way too long this morning. I’m not saying it consumes me, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I thought about it.
I also accept that my body is always changing due to age and other environmental factors but that is something we will only understand as we go. It’s a constant learning process. We have to stay flexible and open-minded about the ways we perceive, protect and cherish our body. It shouldn’t only be about what you see in the mirror. Your levels of confidence, energy and optimism are what will enable you to create magic and live a fulfilling and beautiful life. And that comes from feeling good. And believing you are making good choices for your health.
As a single father, I have struggled to find a steady routine that I can sustain. Why? I’m exhausted from working and parenting. That simple. I spend many hours in the car every week covering my part of multiple, traffic soaked 50-mile round trips to pick up and drop off my daughter. I’d also rather play with her than work out. It’s way easier to eat than to go exercise when I am stressed and need to be in full-on dad mode. How about this one? I just really like food that isn’t necessarily the best for me. It all compounds and, before you know it, we are just that much further away from a healthy way of living and forgetful of the benefits. It’s not the best place to be, but often we are just doing what we can to get through to another day and taking care of those we love. Oh life…
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Well done.Being the best possible of you is always hard.Life throws so many obstacles and temptations in our path We all lead busy and stressful lives .Im a Nurse and i daily see the impacts of those who do not look after themselves by their diet and lack of exercise. Bravo for posting this topic.You look great x
Beautiful, honest, relatable… thank you. We all desperately eed extra grace these days.
Accepting yourself is certainly be3n the key for me. It has allowed me the confidence to block negative comments from others and start a healthier outlook in all aspects of my life. Achieving very small things each day, but not beating myself up on those days that I don’t. Have a long way to go to achieve my goals, however the self-acceptance and happier mindset are making it easier.
Thank you for sharing your story so honestly.
Excelente cómo padre y madre a la vez , ahora dirás no sé español y yo le diré trato de traducir cada cosa que pública ,y ay muchísimo amor 🤩❤️😍 para trasmitir en cada palabra muchos éxitos para los dos y muchas bendiciones 😚❤️🙏 🙏
I really loved reading your thoughts about such a sensitive topic. I always do. You have a way with words, you get what we need.
This hits home on many levels. Thank you for sharing and keeping it real!!!
Well put. You touched on so many life bases. I have patients in every aspect of life that deal with these same issues. It’s not a one size fits all answer. It’s finding what works for you & what you want to achieve.
I love your authenticity here. Relatable on every level. I know all the things I need to do to be a healthier me but I keep bumping it down my list. Single parenting three busy kids and working full time gives me little to no time for myself. I know I have to action it! Thanks for the gentle nudge!
I love your transparency. This blog is extremely helpful & will let so many other single parents out there know that they are not alone. Thank you so much for sharing this❣
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