“I want to spend time with your children.”

“No, they are not bothering me.” “No, I wouldn’t rather go to the bar, I’m good right here.” “Yes, I want to be doing this right now.” “It’s okay, they are fine jumping on me.” These are all common responses I’ve given to comments I’ve received when I am playing with my friends’ child(ren).

I am a parent too so, trust me, I understand how kids can be super stressful. I appreciate the courtesy you show me by telling your kids to give me my space because you think I already get enough of it. In fact, you’re probably right – I can feel like I am maxed out with kids at times. But that’s no reason to ever turn away an eager child who just wants to play and laugh with me.

You are my friend and our children are an extension of our bond and friendship. You are partly who you are because of your association with me. And your kids are a reflection of you! I think you can see where I am going with this!

Let me break it down for you. I willingly spend time with your kids for three reasons.

1) It’s good for my soul. I want to soak in that imagination and innocence as much as possible. It makes me feel young and happy and who wouldn’t want that?? I also know I am making a positive impact on them which is super meaningful.

2) It’s good for their development. They are getting quality time with their parents’ friends. You and I are friends for a reason and, because I engage them, they come to better understand the important characteristics of our friendship, and relationships in general. This will help them make better choices about who they spend their time with and what to give and expect from these friendships.

3) It’s good for your well-being. Five, ten, 30, whatever minutes/hours of them with someone you trust can feel like hours of relief. Some breathing room. Also, seeing your children laugh or smile or blush at the hands of someone close to you is an incredibly special feeling.

We all have an obligation to influence children for the better, not just our own or those we invest in as an aunt or uncle or cousin or grandparent or in a job that works with kids.

So start by embracing the opportunity you have to make a difference. Then go kick the soccer ball around or play make-believe kitchen or watch a movie together – anything where they can feel your attention!

“You are my friend. I care about you. I WANT TO DO THIS.”

And…one final thought…take note of those people who voluntarily engage and play with children. Keep them close.